1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
