I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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