I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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