i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
