i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
