yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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