You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize