Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
