The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come on in and take your pants off
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
