Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
