Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
