How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
