You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
