I have demons in me.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize