Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We were destined to go to rehab together
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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