just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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