I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
