I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
