Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
