Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
