I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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