Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
