I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
