Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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