I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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