i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
