i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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