You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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