why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this boner is exhausting
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
