Nicole vs. Life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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