you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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