im drinking this country out of the recession.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
did you just send me my own nude
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
