I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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