I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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