Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
