you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
