do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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