i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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