What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize