She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
