Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
