I feel like I'm in dance class right now
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
