Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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