my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize