not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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