it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
