Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she peed on how many people?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
