So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
