rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Alive.
So much puke
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
