Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
