I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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