remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
