im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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