All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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