You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
