some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
