You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
