So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
