i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't turn off my feet"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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