He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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